My 2021 ‘Not-To-Do’ List

For years now, I have made New Years Resolutions and wrote up long lists of things to do in the New Year. Exercise more, lose weight, go to the gym, take some classes, learn something new, the list was endless.

This year, to be kind to myself, I am wary of adding more to my already full plate. And yet, I want to stay aligned with objectives that are meaningful to me. Perhaps because of some wisdom I picked up recently, I have decided to do the opposite this year. So instead of the usual ‘to do’ list I have instead put together a ‘Not To Do List’.

I figured, that to be happier, more fulfilled, productive, healthy, or to achieve any of the things that are valuable to me, it may not be necessary to add a plethora of things to do on my already full list. This year, I have identified 100 things that I should not do. By removing distractions and time-sucking activities, I hope to create time and energy for things that are valuable to me. So without further ado, here goes:

Do not stay up past 10.00 pm. Make sure you get adequate sleep.
Do not compromise on the first two to three hours of the day. They are for your morning ritual and you must guard this time jealously.
Do not eat unhealthy, to-go meals. Even a simple home cooked dish will suffice on busy days
Do not hold too many expectations of others. Expectations are a source of agony and drain energy. Expecting people to act based on your values is a futile exercise. They always do, and rightly so, what aligns with their inner values. Accept it
Do not skip the weekly yoga class. Yoga is the one thing that revitalizes body and mind, creating greater health and muscle tone. It is essential to my good health
Do not skip the mid-day walk. During these short winter days, by the time I shut down my computer for the day, it is too late to go outside for a walk. Therefore I must make time to walk mid-day, even if that’s during my workday.
Do not skip the after-dinner stroll. Strolling on the deck after dinner helps me get the last bit of physical activity in my day. The fresh air calms my mind and sets the tone for quiet moments before I go to bed.
Do not skip the Sunday planning session. Attempting to take on a hectic week without my Sunday ritual of going over my tasks and commitments for the week, my weekly meal plan, and other planning activities, is counterproductive. It makes me work harder and gets mediocre results.
Do not speak harsh words. Being polite and respectful is a tribute to yourself as much as it is a gift to others. There is always a way to get your point across politely and respectfully.
Do not think you need to participate in every event, every project, every conversation.
Do not work in PJs all day. It is a lazy habit and can’t possibly inspire in you a professional and productive mindset.
Do not mindlessly browse social media as a distraction from stress. Try to find a healthier outlet
Do not neglect self-care and personal grooming – a timely shower, decent work from home clothes, adequately done hair and other grooming is essential for your self-esteem and to pull you out of lethargy
Do not buy too much stuff for the house. Reduce what you can
Do not focus too much on decorating the home. A clean, organized space always looks good, so focus on that instead
Do not overstock grocery. Be creative and use what you have without waste
Do not leave projects unfinished. Even if it is just a hobby, finishing what you start is a tribute to yourself and will help with better clarity of thought and action
Do not commit to things that violate your core beliefs and personal values. Speak up for your self – say NO
Do not tolerate disrespect. Promptly and firmly correct the violating party. Do not delay, do not mince your words
Do not run away from people and/or situations. Stay put and play on your terms but if the situation is toxic, then move fast and leave. Make sure your assessment is not ‘in the moment’ but based on an objective decision that has long term value for YOU
Do not distract yourself from people or situations that hurt you. Confront the situation fully and find either a solution or a way out
Do not short-change yourself. All you bring to the table is valuable, make sure your environment treats you accordingly
Do not fight other people’s battles
Do not over idolize people, or over villainize them. They are humans with good and bad sides, just like you
Do not be overly fixated on other people’s thoughts and ideas, look within.
Do not produce substandard work. Your work should be of the highest quality
Do not speak too much
Do not participate in every situation
Do not interfere too much
Do not volunteer your time and/or thoughts too often. Let other people figure it out on their own
Do not sit for too long. Even during the workday, get up and walk. Bring the exercise bike to your home office and sit on it (bike on it) for part of the day
Do not read more than one book a week. Spend more time organizing and writing your own thoughts and ideas
Do not compromise on your solitude. Actively seek it in your everyday life
Do not perform your subordinate’s work in pursuit of perfection. Delegate it. It will free your time and let them learn too
Do not believe sweet talkers, don’t take what they say at face value
Do not underestimate living expenses. Plan your finances well. Set passive income goals and make a plan to achieve them.
Do not overwork
Do not oversleep
Do not overeat
Do not eat mindlessly
Do not speak mindlessly
Do not act mindlessly
Do not react when you can respond
Do not mix your hobby (writing) with your profession (source of living)
Do not give up your good fortunes
Do not neglect the love of a wordless animal (make time for cat therapy)
Do not ignore your inner voice
Do not be stingy about self-care expenses
Do not be overly generous towards others
Do not discard your fears – face them, name them, understand them
Do not neglect old friends
Do not avoid new friends but be selective about who you let into your life
Do not believe all you hear or see at face value alone. Dig deeper, defer judgment
Do not let other people’s impressions of you determine your self worth
Do not let people walk all over you. Show them their boundaries and keep them firmly behind them
Do not skimp on planning and goal setting. If you don’t set your own goals, you will find yourself fulfilling someone else’s goals
Do not let time slip by. It is your most finite resource. Guard it jealously.
Do not let creative pursuits decentralize your energy
Do not pursue random things. Focus your energy on meaningful tasks
Do not be fearful
Do not be weak eared (don’t believe everything someone tells you)
Do not try to overachieve. Stick to your core duties and do them well
Do not ignore what you have planned for or put on your calendar. Follow-through
Do not tolerate injustice against yourself
Do not underestimate the power of positivity. Try to objectively and positively approach each challenging situation
Do not ignore the signals of your body
Do not burn bridges
Do not give up your autonomy in how you work. Fight for it
Do not give up on yourself
Do not give in to your circumstances
Do not give up on the people you love. Fight for them
Do not allow love to dry
Do not nurture indifference
Do not stoke anger
Do not breed hatred
Do not be mistrustful and yet…
Do not be naive
Do not hurt others
Do not hurt yourself
Do not let others hurt you
Do not ignore the truth
Do not disregard the flaws of your loved ones
Do not disregard their virtues
Do not discount their pain
Do not neglect your family – immediate and extended
Do not forget other’s good deeds and strive to pay them forward
Do not begrudge other’s bad deeds and try to avoid them in our actions. Just move forward
Do not underestimate quiet and soft-spoken people. They often have tremendous inner strength
Do not chase money. Focus on acquiring excellence in your profession. Money will follow
Do not deprive yourself of everyday joys while you pursue your lofty ideals. Stop to smell the roses, watch the sunset
Do not hold on to the past. Do not worry too much about the future. Be here now
Do not ignore your favorite books. Read them. Even if you can do just one page at a time
Do not be shabby
Do not be unclean
Do not wear too much makeup
Do not try to disguise your true appearance
Do not try to disguise your true feelings
Do not argue with foolish people
Do not surrender to racial injustice
Do not give up, ever

My 2021 ‘Not-To-Do’ List

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